E Q U I L I B R I A
Child and Family Psychological Services
Do you find it difficult
to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees?
Fret not. There’s a wealth of literature conceived for various ages which can help you through the task.
Chartered Clinical Psychologist, Shona Lowes, recommends five books and tells ‘Mind Your Body’ why she thinks they are recommended:
For Parent of Children
Aged 6-8 years
‘Where Did I Come From?’ The facts of life without any nonsense and with illustrations by Peter Mayle.
This book gives very clear biological details about the differences between males and females, about sexual intercourse, conception, pregnancy and birth. It is aimed at 5-8 year olds but I think that maybe it gives more detail than your typical 5 year old would be looking for and probably parents of the younger children would not feel so comfortable giving a child so much detail at this age. Certainly for children closer to 8 years the humorous style of writing and the fun illustrations would make the book interesting and would help parents to overcome any embarrassment they may have in talking to their children about sex.
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For Parents of Children
Aged 3-6 years
‘Amazing You: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts’ by Gail Saltz
This is an excellent first book to read with your child if they are under the age of 6 years. The focus is on differences between males and females primarily but it also gives sufficient information about pregnancy and birth. The author also gives helpful advice for parents on how to communicate with young children.
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For Parent of Children
Aged 10 and over
‘It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex And Sexual Health’ by Robie Harris
This book is for children ages 10 years and up. It presents responses to all the questions that might concern pre-teens and teens including puberty, sexual intercourse, pregnancy and birth, health, hygiene and relationships. The combination of pictures and text make it easy to find the answers to specific questions, it is probably the kind of book a teenager might refer to in order to clarify their understanding of different aspect of sexuality. Although most pre-teens would perhaps prefer to spend time reading this book themselves, this is also a good book for parents and teenagers to look through together to provide the opportunity for further shared discussion.
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For Parents of teenagers
‘The Talk: What Your Kids Need to Hear From You About Sex.’ By Sharon Maxwell
With increased use of the Internet and other media, children are exposed to a wider range of information on sex and sexuality than their parents were.
This book brings parents’ attention to some of these issues such as how to keep safe, using the Internet responsibly, personal values and personal identity.
parents can also begin to understand how difficult it is for teenagers to behave in a way that is right for them in the face of media and peer pressure.
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For Parents of Children
Aged 3-19 years
‘How to Talk to Your Child about Sex.’ By Linda and Richard Eyre
The authors give very clear information about what the most appropriate topics for children at each stage of their development are. They also give some ideas on how to communicate with children about these issues.
This is a good book for parents to read when their child is very young and to continue to refer to in later years. Reading this will help parents feel they are one step ahead of their children’s questions and thus be more prepared.
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All books are available at Kinokuniya Bookstore, Singapore
Shona Lowes
Chartered Clinical Psychologist
October 2008
Printed in The Straits Times – ‘Mind your Body’ October 2nd 2008